Ephesians 5: 25 – 31, KJV.

The Most Difficult Time To Build A Strong Marriage that will be a delight to the heart of God is now .

In a time like this , there are many counsellor,  whose Marriage never work , who is now working the work of Marriage counsellors,  Such people are part of great threat to Marriage in our days .

Marriage is an institution established by God. 

When God instituted it, He intended it to be held in honour and high esteem. 

The couples are meant to be one and demonstrate this purposefully. 

God placed the first couple in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15). 

This garden was a paradise on earth, as everything that any man needed was inside it. 

In other words, married couples are to live a life of paradise on earth. 

They are to live and love happily with Noise  of laughter ringing through their homes. 

Good couples offer each other peace, rest, encouragement and outstanding support. 

Who you marry determines to a large extent your happiness and success in life. 

However, some marriages are hell on earth. 

The partners are like prisoners living inside big cages without gates. 

Instead of them spraying the beautiful perfume of happiness and comfort, they are excellent examples of sadness and regrets. 

But This is now the Will And The Mind Of God For marriage. 

If We Will be honest with ourselves,  Marriages these days are more enduring than enjoying,  simply because of the evil of our days and selfishness in humans .

Regardless of what may be happening in our days , Our marriage can stand out. This is not about competition,  but it’s about making God proud of the kind of marriage we build. 

And This can only be possible when we follow the principles laid down by God to have a beautiful marriage. 

Today we hear too much about marriages that are in trouble or don’t make it. 

Yet there are many, many couples who have fulfilling and even exceptional marriages. 

It’s no accident that strong marriages are the way they are. 

Good marriages don’t just happen. 

Couples in exceptional marriages are willing to learn and grow by developing a positive, biblical attitude; 

discovering how to speak their spouse’s personal and love languages; and celebrating their differences as well as their similarities.

HOWEVER There are certain Principles We must apply to our marriage,  We must make it mandatory to apply it to our marriage,  We must take it up as responsibility for our marriage to work .

1 . MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A SAFE PLACE. 

Individually,  There must be determination to make your marriage a safe place. 

Your Spouse must not be scared of expressing himself.

Your Spouse must not be scared of sharing His own opinion. 

Your wife , Your husband,  must feel at home whenever you are around .

Your Home must not be like a cemetery whenever you are around .

You make your marriage a safe place when you live by understanding who you married .

You make your marriage a safe place when you value your Spouse .

You make your marriage a safe place when your spouse is free to express himself (Expression must be polite)

2 . AVOID EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION 

Emotions are a foundation for marriage. 

Before you marry,  you are emotionally connected. 

You think about yourself,  you longed to hear yourself,  you long to see yourself.

A Lot of People only experience this before marriage. 

But a few months After their wedding,  the emotional connection begins to die gradually. 

SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION

》 You Enjoy staying in your office/ place of work rather than with your spouse .

》 You Spend much time with friends than with your Spouse 

》You enjoyed staying alone rather than staying with your partner .

》 You intentionally come home late 

》 He is no longer beautiful before you 

》 He is no longer the handsome man you know. 

》When His or Her presence always angers you .

WHAT ARE THINGS THAT DO CAUSE EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION. 

》Critical comments

》insensitive remarks

》Irritating acts

》Failure to help 

》Not having time to listen when a listening ear is desperately needed. 

》Perceived betrayal

》When One Stop Dressing Well , Stop Looking Good .

Creating and sustaining an emotional connection with your spouse is the most important goal of your marriage. 

3 . GET LOSE FROM EVERY BAD ATTACHMENT 

If Your Parents have a bad marriage,  it may affect your marriage,  because their marriage was a bad mirror or dirty mirror 🪞 for your life .

This is why many today don’t know how to sustain a good marriage because they didn’t see good examples in the marriage of their parents. 

Everyone comes to marriage with preset beliefs, expectations, values, and feelings pertaining to these crucial issues: 

• Expectations of what real intimacy looks like. 

• Ways of responding to hurt, disconnection, and disappointment. 

• • A sense of being unlovable or unworthy, questioning whether you are able to obtain easily and comfortably the love you need from others. 

• A sense of the emotional safety or non-safety of others; questioning if others can be trusted to love and take care of your heart. 

4 . HANDLING ARGUMENTS WITH WISDOM. 

There Are Several things that do generate arguments,  But to say 4 of them .

• First is criticism. Critical remarks ,They devalue us.

• Second is a demand (or request) that is perceived as unfair and unreasonable. 

Your spouse asks you to do something that you don’t want to do because you feel it doesn’t make sense. 

• Third, cumulative aggravations. 

These are annoying, frustrating things that one’s spouse does repeatedly and over time. 

• A fourth trigger is rejection. 

A partner’s failure to respond in a caring and considerate manner can feel like rejection.  

》Build Strong Conflict Management. 

Common Areas Of Conflict  :

Money : How to spend it 

Inlaws : 

Sex 

Children 

5. REGULARLY REVIEW GOOD MEMORIES. 

6. BUILD A STRONG COMMUNICATION. 

7. PRAY TOGETHER  AGAINST MARRIAGE DESTROYER .

8. DISASSOCIATE FROM FRIENDS THAT HAVE WRONG INFLUENCE ON YOUR MARRIAGE.